A Youth of Blindspots

The Vincident

Getting Rid Your Own Toxic Masculinity

Martnehz
28 min readOct 4, 2021

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👇🏾 👇🏾 Audio version also available 👇🏾 👇🏾

After six years in the same townhouse, I moved to the Montrose area. Yeah, you fucking idiot, that part of Montrose. The part your 1980s-addled brain probably goes to when it thinks of “The Montrose.” You would’ve probably been the target demographic for those PSAs about how you couldn’t get AIDS from public toilets. Because you obviously don’t know anything. But I do. Regardless, that’s where I live now.

I didn’t uproot myself to the Montrose to move in with some goddamn broad or anything awful like that. The three-bedroom townhouse I’d been renting for years was being sold, so the comfortable and cheap life I’d built with a rotating group of a buncha great dudes was finally coming to a close.

I chose a 1bed/1bath in an old, decrepit four-plex because it wasn’t a boring ol’ apartment complex with friendly property managers and fitness & business centers. Some terribly vanilla place with free coffee in the lobby, Dog of the Month notices in the elevators. Or, even worse, a gentrifyingly overcrowded kidney-shaped pool filled with a bunch of millenial yuppiefucks on the weekends. I was looking for something unique, something special. And this house was it. Beyond its uniqueness, I wasn’t searching for anything else.

I hadn’t yet pieced together the puzzle about what I’d seen but not noticed. After my brief morning tour, I failed to realize my problem: I should’ve paid better attention. But I was cheap, so I wasn’t used to paying much for anything. My daytime tour featured the calm Montrose’s demeanor which was not like the night because… phew… the nights are nothing like the days. Regardless, it was new and it was special. My parents had always warned me about trying to be so special.

I hadn’t lived by myself like that since I’d spent a summer studying abroad in Buenos Aires while in college. My parents had arranged for me to stay with the…

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Martnehz

I do things. Huge nerd otherwise. Interested in all types of media & creative-ish forms of expressions. Rawr!!